Archive, 2024
10, December 2024
Funeral is Friday. I'm not going I think. But I did take as much bereavement leave as I am allowed because it's been so hard to focus at work. I think my feelings are more or less sorted, but I can't stop thinking about strange the whole thing just kinda is. Hubs also got the day off, so we're going to likely just do some easy things together- watch anime, play games, maybe get some icecream even though it's friggin cold.
I will say that the whole thing has pushed me into writing more. Not just for this blog, but creatively. I updated a fanfiction and have started adding to a couple of WIPs that I have. It's an escape maybe, but it works and it's less destructive than drinking or smoking like I would have done a few years ago. I'm a different person now. Sober.
I also did some drawing last weekend. I keep meaning to upload stuff, it's just a pain because I draw in some really high resolutions because I want to make prints and sell at conventions, so I have to lower the quality and compress them for my gallery page here so it doesn't take literal ages to load. I'll do it soon enough tho, I want to share that with you.
6, December 2024
Ah it's been a pretty weird week. This morning my aunt died in hospice. She was in her 40s. I feel very weird about it.
Most of my extended family has held me at arms length at best, and completely ignored me at worst. I hadn't even physically seen this aunt in about 6 or 7 years at this point. Mostly because she was very ill, but also because after I started transitioning no one really wanted to talk to me at family gatherings, and no one ever explicitly invited me other than my mom, who would tell me about them the day of their happening. So I guess I just feel very disconnected from her, and from everyone at this point. I know I should feel sad about her passing but I just feel like I would if I heard on the news that a stranger had died.
I think also, on a deeper level I feel a lot of resentment, because everyone has always treated me like an outsider even before I came out and started transitioning. I was always a weirdo and a freak. Someone that you rolled your eyes at when I was a kid, and then politely humored as a teen, and now... I guess I'm just no one to them.
I have quite a large extended family, several aunts and uncles and numerous cousins. The only ones who purposfully keep in contact with me are cousins that aren't even blood related to me! That's fucking insane honestly. My whole world has shrunk in a matter of years. Most days it just feels like my husband and I.
I'm really glad to have my friend S back in my life though. We are talking a lot more and she honestly makes me feel better knowing that someone out there in the world does think of me and call me family. And two of my coworkers have become a little more family than just people I work with. M and LK, I don't know if you read this (I do remember I shared the page with you, but honestly I don't expect you to keep up with me!), but if you do, thanks for being there for me.
I would honestly be doing a lot worse today and this year without all these people by my side to keep me from wanting to jump.
Hubby got Saturday off, so we are going to spend lots of time together and maybe do the rest of our holiday shopping done. We don't have much to do, so maybe we'll sit at a cafe for a bit being cute homosexuals together. Oh, that reminds me, I got back on T this week. Was easier to do than I thought it would be, my new doctor was like, "yeah I'm pretty sure you know what this will do to you, so let's start you out low and get you back to where you were 5 years ago."
Honestly, pretty great, other than I have to have injections because my dumb insurance won't cover the gel. I caused Hubs to panick a bit because the needle was really long and I also accidentally stabbed my finger with it when I was trying to re-cap it to go into the sharps container... Probably won't do my next one with him watching.
Anyhow, thanks for reading, if you're reading. It means a lot to feel like people are seeing these and I'm not just shooting my thoughts out into the void. I still could be, but I'm going to pretend that you're out there sending me positive vibes.
29, November 2024
Typing this from my new computer! Took advantage of a Black Friday deal with iBuyPower and got a custom build from them. I'll be paying it off for a few months, but Husband assures me we can do that, although I didn't realize at the time that meant we wouldn't get the PS5 for Christmas. It's not that I'm upset that we won't get it, it's more like I feel selfish for getting a new computer that I'll likely be the only one using versus a gaming system that we can both use. They insist it's okay but I'm going to do the best I can to make Christmas really special for them, as well as their birthday since that's just about a month later!
Starting my DnD campaign up again with a new group. One person left already even though session zero is essentially today where we create characters and stuff. I feel bad when that happens, even if it was due to life stuff that they dropped and I'm not responsible for that in the slightest.
The campaign I have planned is going to be fun regardless. It's all homebrew, as in the world is custom, the pantheon is custom, and the story is all mine to weave! Major themes are about how capitalism kills people and the planet (plane in this case?) with a bit of an anime/hopepunk flavor. I hope this group appreciates the theming more than my last one, because the whole thing was kind of lost on my old group.
Speaking of E's group, she hasn't contacted me at all since I asked to go virtual. She halfheartedly tried to organize a november game but honestly I think she's just more into the theater than she is DnD, and that's okay, I just wish she would be honest with herself and with me about it!
Yesterday was American Thanksgiving. Hubs and I don't celebrate that sort of thing because it's very colonizer, so we just celebrate the change in seasons and good harvest (in our case, a three paycheck month that we had in October LOL). We had squash soup and pumpkin pie, rolls, egg nog, hot chocolate, and some treats we managed to snag at the only grocery store that was open yesterday morning. We spent the day just chilling playing games and being goofballs together. It was pretty lovely :3
We'll be going to my friend's house for a sort of Friendsgiving thing Sunday, I'm still so hyped for it! I can't wait to see her again and to meet her husband and see how big her kiddo has gotten! AND MEET ALL HER PETS OMG! ... Shew, sorry about that, I got really hype there. I'm just full of energy lately because a lot of exciting things are happening! I hope that theme continues into next year and that I can hold on to hope and love tightly
20, November 2024
Had some time to mourn and to cry and to breathe. I can't say I feel hopeful, but I've been looking up different videos of what to do and how to survive because I don't have much idea of what I'll do if (when) shit hits the fan. Other than run away I guess. My husband and I have tentative plans to seek asylum if it gets too bad. But I did manage to find this video, and I'm going to add it to a playlist that I'm going to keep adding to of just things that are good sound advice for living currently.
On the upside news, I reconnected with a very good friend recently. We fell off around the start of Covid- not because of any fight or disagreement just because it was a hard time for both of us and also I became kind of a shut in for a few years... Anyways, we reconnected because I reached out via email and now we're texting and we're going to hang out on the first and introduce our husbands to eachother! (kinda funny we both got married this year!) I'm very happy to have gotten back in touch, and I hope we can keep building our friendship and stay in touch for longer.
We're getting closer and closer to the holidays. I'm going to make a squash soup for Fall Feast Day, and then maybe Karaage if I have the energy for it. Hubby has already finished basically all his Yule shopping, and I've gotta get it together and get some things too before shipping becomes a problem! We're also going to do some stockings for some of my coworkers that have made keeping my job a lot easier x3 I've gotta get that sorted out here too.
The business of the season is not my fave. But I'll savor these moments of happiness and commit them to memory for when the time comes I need to remember.
8, November 2024
Well, my literal nightmare came true two days ago. The US Election results were announced and dread settled into my like a stone. I cried all day, even though I had to be at work. I'm going through the motions of living, because even though it's numb and it feels like the end of the world, I should live. I should be alive for my husband and for my community, and for the younger generations. I keep telling myself they need to see someone like me surviving. And future generations need to have their elder queers.
I don't think it's going to be easy, but will you also live with me? You, the person reading this? I assume you're like me, scared, maybe feeling hopeless. Keep living, I need you to keep living, the world needs you here. Don't go, please.
Instead of feeling celebratory about making it a year on this site as a webmaster, I feel sober. I'm going to keep providing periodic updates. I'm going to find ways to use this to spread some good maybe.
25, October 2024
Work trip went better than expected. It was really great to see my work friend L, who lives closer to HQ than I do, and it was interesting to meet a bunch of people that I really only have seen through a screen in the past. There were some points that were a bit 'meh', but I think that just has to do with me being sober and someone who doesn't gamble for my health and safety. Still, I don't understand why every single night everyone was so concerned about getting drunk as fast as possible and then ubering to the casino to piss away money.
Psychologically, I think I get it, the lights, the sounds, the way you can win just a little bit and be encouraged to win more. All that stuff I know is designed to trap me, so I stay away from it. I was able to at least do some drawing in my hotel and then soak in a hot tub the next night when everyone else was going out.
Crazy to me that the month is almost over and soon this site will be one full year old. When I started it I was living so isolated in a rural mountain town, the only company my husband and I had were our cats and bunny and his mother. I felt very lonely there, so I found this and started it up. It's still pretty simple and my endeavors to learn more coding have been pretty halting, but I think it's still nice to have something like this called mine. And even though I am much less lonely after we moved away from that wretched woman and the mold-infested trailer, I think that I can still find a benefit in having a place to just let my words live.
The anonymity is nice, in most places social media wise it feels like there are too many people close to me that can see it. But this is a place of strangers, nobody knows me from Adam, all you can do is read my words and take them at face value without knowing my tone or my face. I'm going to keep it around for as long as I can.
13, October 2024
Hey look, an update that isn't more than a month from my last!
Started playing Final Fantasy XIV again. It's always a lot of relearning because I only play for a bit before I put it down for several months to a year. I just decided to roll a new character in the Balmung server because I heard it's well known for RP and that's really what I'd like to do. You'd think I would be tired of roleplay at this point with running a D&D campaign monthly and doing discord stuff with my husband here and there. But I think telling stories with people is just ingrained in me.
The D&D game has been a bit frought, but I think things will start turning around now that we are going to do some virtual sessions for the holiday months. My friend Alice has been pretty adamant about hosting them because she's just gone through a tough divorce and has two young children with high support needs, so she is craving adult social hours. However this has also lead to many cancelltions because she's been getting too stressed to host, and just yesterday told me she was getting too stressed to do her own character upkeep. (I had just asked her to write down her backstory and level up to 2, and that was a month ago.) I don't know if the virtual stuff will help with the lack of any sort of ownership for her, but it will at least help me so I can keep track of it and keep her on task.
Ngl, it's a little discouraging to give the party a recap of last session only for Alice to forget what they were doing an hour later like, "what are we even doing here?". Makes me feel like I'm doing a bad job as a DM of being engaging. It was a little funny though because her character was retired last night so she could play a new one and literally none of the party members really cared that her old character was just very dramatically disappeared in front of them.
Anyways, we're gonna have Poke for lunch.
5, October 2024
I've returned!
The convention was nice, a bit of a mixed bag because my sister was supposed to meet us and hang out but I spent probably a total of 5 hours with her the whole weekend since her best friend moved out of their shared apartment, and she did as well. She left for Japan shortly after that, so I will likely not see her for a year minimum. We've been chatting here and there, but the time difference means that it's hard to keep consistent contact.
After the convention my husband and I started saving and buying furniture for our flat. Dispite living here since March, we didn't have any seating in our living area, so we bought a comfy couch, an entertainment center for all the movies and games, and a large flatscreen. It's the biggest TV either of us have ever had and the picture is very clear and crisp! Playing open world games like BotW, TotK, and Elden Ring is such a different experience! Hanging out in the living room is now much more comfortable, and we snooze a little on the couch before bed (I call it pre bedtime)
September was my birthday, and my husband surpsised me with Aquamarine gemstone dice! They sparkle so prettily in the light, and I think I would like to display them on my work desk since I'm a little afraid to roll them during actual play x3
I was in the hospital emergency room late September as well. An infection in my small intestine/colon. It was really scary, but I was glad my partner could be by my side the whole time. I'm doing better now, but I have to be very intentional with my diet to avoid another infection. It's apparently much easier to get one again after the first time, so that really sucks. More vegetables and fruits than I've been having, so it's not all bad it's just not easy to keep fresh produce, and everything is getting so expensive.
In a few weeks I'll be going out of town on a work trip. I'm nervous to leave my husband alone, because I know that he has a hard time without me, but maybe it will be good for us? I'm excited to meet a bunch of my coworkers that I've only chatted with on MS Teams. It'll also be a lot of masking and making sure I'm not being a little weirdo in the office.
Hoping I remember to update this here a little more frequently. I've almost hit a year! I should figure out how to collapse the 2024 entries so that the page doesn't just scroll forever. Probably something to do with iframes... ugh. We'll see.
3, July 2024
A month of married life and the two of us are waiting on the changes everyone said would come.
I have a few married friends who all say that the relationship changes once you get married and honestly I just don't understand why it would? My husband and I still do what we can for eachother, we still joke around the same way, snuggle the same etc. The only thing that has changed really is our names, and that's what I think it should be. A relationship shouldn't change based on the title you give one another.
Started taking an HTML course through work finally. It's slow going because the last few months have been incredibly busy and I don't have much time for personal development. However, I am required to do a certain amount of PD quarterly, and Continuing Education (different from PD) yearly. I think for the CE courses I will have to do them outside of work hours, even though they are supposed to be paying me for them... There's just not enough down time for it, especially with how active within the company they want me to be.
And speaking of work, I'm starting to be less patient with my clients. I'm going to have to start taking my PTO or I'm going to have a full burn out.
We're going to an Anime convention at the end of the month, that will be fun. My husband, Friend, and I will be cosplaying as Digimon Gijinka. I'll be Lopmon, Husband is Terriermon, and our friend is Gabumon!
If we remember to take pictures I may upload them here. I'm not quite decided yet, because I enjoy the anonymity and privacy of this place. Perhaps I can censor faces. We'll see. I still need to update my gallery as well.
5, June 2024
We are married! It was an exercise in patience in some cases, but in a spectacular start to Pride month my fiance and I are legally gay married now!
I never told my parents that we were engaged. I had told my sisters that I was going to propose last year and then the day we got engaged they had what I can only describe as religeous meltdowns about how they were "losing" me, and likening the queer community to a cult among other things. After that I had decided I didn't want to tell my parents we had gotten engaged and I knew I didn't want my immediate family to be present for any wedding/marriage things. We didn't end up having any sort of ceremony, and next year we'll have a big party/open house to celebrate with our friends, but I did update my marital status on social media as well as updated my last name.
We chose a new last name because neither of us wants to be associated with our families any longer, we want to forge our own family. Pretty, right? Sort of poetic, maybe. However this drew attention from my mom. She messaged me today confused that I had updated my marital status and last name, asking if it was real and "legal". She asked why I had changed my last name in marriage and asked if it was because I was mad at her and my dad. I told her that wasn't it, even though in part it is. I am furious with my parents, with my family. They use my deadname and pronouns behind my back when talking to eachother, and then to my face pretend to be respectful. I can tell that they do this because they slip up still after ten years, and also because my youngest sister basically told me they do, and that because of that her kids are confused about me and asking questions. I'm no longer allowed to be around my niece and nephew because my existence is too hard to explain.
They wouldn't have anything to explain if they hadn't told them in the first place. They've only known my post transition. Anyways, this means that now I can't go to any family gatherings. I'm being isolated from my family in many ways because of this, but they all conside it my fault because I won't just be the person they want me to be. It doesn't matter that I've explained that being that person makes me want to die. So yeah, I'm pretty upset with them, I can't share my life with them without being told I'm wrong for wanting to be happy.
Enough about that, though. Recently I've been having tablet issues. I left my Wacom in our old trailer because it was almost a decade old and on its last legs. My husband has a Gaomon tablet so they told me I could use it instead. Well we tried hooking it up to my computer and it doesn't work. It's likely because I built my computer myself with the help of a tech savvy friend, and there were a few things that he said I didn't have to hook up because they were redundant or unneccessary. SO one of the HDMI imputs doesn't work and the headphone and mic jacks on the front of my tower don't either.
It was a huge bummer, but my husband surprised me by buying a Huion Kamvas Slate 10! It's basically an android tablet, but it's really nice and I enjoy using it! I have to find a better place to store it, because right now I put it in my bedside drawer, and so I forget that I have it a lot. ADHDcore.
I'll have to update my gallery soon.
5, May 2024
April was a bit of a shitshow, I didn't have much time to update anything or do much other than survive. The first full week I was out of town at a work conference. I got paid to be there but it was a lot of work to mask for 12 hours a day. While I was gone my fiance was fired from his job- Why? Well, because he is disabled you see, and was asking for accomodations. Because he was a contract worker and not a direct employee of the company there are basically zero repercussions for the company for firing him.
He got a new job pretty quickly, now he's a barista. It's not the kind of paycheck he expected to be pulling, but it's better than nothing since we can't survive on my paycheck alone out here. The new job comes with it's own stressors for him. His Fibro symptoms are all getting worse is what it feels like, and it's heartbreaking to see him limp through the door after a shift only to collapse into bed and cry about the aches and pains. I mentioned trying out some alternative pain relief methods, since I know some people here who can get me that sort of thing, but my fiance is adamant that they not take any sort of illicit substance.
It was probably selfish of me to offer, but I also don't really know how to help them other than to continue trying to make their home life easier. I get burnt out on it sometimes. I was never very good at keeping house when I was single, and now with two of us it's all I can do to keep us with clean dishes, clean spaces, and nutritious meals. Cooking is not a big problem for me, because I like it, but cleaning is difficult because after making a large meal I get tired, and then if I don't clean it right away I will put it off until I'm reminded I have to do that. Still, I get energy for it in waves. I'm trying my best, we both are, and that's what matters.
Another stressor has been marriage. We wanted to get married as soon as we moved. Nothing fancy, just a courthouse affair so we could get started changing our names and I could put him on my benefits. In all the chaos of moving and then my conference and his firing, we just haven't had much time to do that sort of thing. We want to try and get married soon, June if we can. It's pride month so it would be an excellent time. He's worried that it won't happen ever because we keep pushing it out. Sometimes I wonder if he thinks I'm doing that on purpose or something. I'm really not, it's just that there are so many steps to get legally married, and one of them is coordinating two other people to be in the same place as us at the same time where we have a window of about two hours during the work week. Why do you even need witnesses to get married, is a judge not enough?
Things will start looking up, I think. We've been doing a lot to make things better, and suffering is almost always temporary just as all things are. I have to keep believing it, for both of us.
11, March 2024
My fiance and I got moved. It was difficult and it was stressful, but it was so worth it.
I took a week off work so that we could get mostly unpacked and spend some time acclimating to our new space, and see an old friend to catch up. Took a bit of time to recover from the long drive and we slept a LOT the first few days, but we're about seventy percent unpacked now, with what's left being mostly books that we can't unpack due to leaving behind our old bookshelves.
My fiance was able to get a job back at his old company, for much more pay, and he's probably going to start that at the end of the month or beginning of next. I've got my same job, because I've been able to work remotely from anywhere since 2020. Regardless, we will be a two income household once again and we are looking forward to the benefits of that. Mostly saving and having a bit more spending cash for our hobbies which we've been restricting for the last year.
It's been so nice, feels like I can finally breathe easy. That may be due to the absence of black mold (we found it when we were moving stuff out... it was everywhere), but I think it also has a lot to do with how much this place just feels right. It's home, and we are finally safe-- free of the shadow of a narcissistic MIL!
We've done a few things that we haven't been able to do in a year now. Simple things like, get brunch, go see a movie, take a walk! It's really that much different here, and I couldn't be happier. I know my beloved is also happy, and that's what gives me a sense of peace and happiness too, as cheesey as it sounds.
21, February 2024
Took my fiance to his follow up appointment with Rheumatology today. It was a waste of time. The doctor essentially said "I'm pretty sure it's Fibro, but I won't diagnose you because you're too fat and maybe if you lost some weight and ate healthy your symptoms would go away :)". It's infuriating to see him be taken so unseriously. The weight gain he's been experiencing is a symptom not the cause.
We actually eat fairly healthily here, I cook all our meals from scratch, he loves fruits and vegetables, and he doesn't eat red meat or over-salt foods. If we have sweets, they're little treats here and there, nothing regular. We don't even drink soda pop on the regular, instead we have Gamer Supps so that we can get our vitamins in and drink more water. Ridiculous that the doctor treated him this way, and my heart hurts for him, but there's nothing I can do other than try to advocate a little harder for him when I'm able.
A day ago, my fiance told his mom we were moving. We had been avoiding it for a long time because she is controlling and abusive, and we don't want her to know where we are going to live. She called him to ask where we were going and he held firm in his resolve not to tell her. She tried to manipulate it out of him by threatening a heart attack.
I wish I could make this stuff up.
In other news, you may have noticed I moved all the personal blog stuff here. Now I don't know what to put on my main page. Maybe more resources? More buttons? Lighter personal updates (eg. what I'm playing/working on)?
Probably should at least put Site updates/logs there so that things aren't so confusing... I'll think on it.
18, February 2024
Moving in a week and a half. Lots to do and get done and yet I want to procrastinate (I'm very like my namesake, it's true) and do anything other than the 'adult' stuff like canceling the internet and electricity. Still waffling on if I should notify my current slumlord or not. We never signed a lease that said we had to, and after the way he's treated us I'm not really inclined to do him any courtesy. I think dropping the keys off in his out of office slot and a note saying to consider the deposit last month's rent is the most he'll get at this point.
My fiance has a few more appointments this week. The doctors and specialists think it's Fibromyalgia, and if they keep asking to do more tests we might have to put an official diagnosis on hold until after the move. I'm hoping that the move isn't too hard on his body, it's going to be a whole day of driving and since I'll be taking the moving truck we won't be able to switch off like we had originally planned. I'll figure out a way to treat him when we get there I think, something nice and to help with his aches. Maybe one of his favorite bath bombs or something?
Sidebar, I started working with some folks to make a Zine! It'll be my first collab of the year, and also my first ever zine! If it goes well I might try my hand at making my own zine too, just for fun and to see if I can learn the formatting of it and stuff, since that's not my area on this one. Look out for more talk about it at a later time, since it's not going to launch it's advertising until like April-ish.
25, January 2024
What a time. It's been a long while since I updated. I caught Covid over the winter holidays and felt like death for so long. Work picked up, I bought a vehicle, and my fiance has been going to the doctor for tests on some pretty serious stuff. So it's been hella busy.
We're planning to move very soon, we just have to get a place lined up so we can get out of this place that is making us very sick and hurting our mental health. I want to say I'm coming back to this, but it might be a little while before I can. I still have so many ideas to give shape and form to. I want to make a Soul Eater shrine, move these blog posts to a new page and keep this as a general index page. I still have to fix my gallery, my images are murder on load speed, so I have to figure out a way to compress them smaller without borking the quality.
I feel like my skill is seriously lacking tho, and that gets frustrating because I want to be good at everything I put my hand to. Very unrealistic, because this isn't something I can just be good at immediately. I want to ask more folks for help, because the different resource pages I've looked at have been hard to parse- but also like, shouldn't I win my own success? Very complicated thoughts. There's also the anxiety that I will bother more experienced coders with my questions and need for more basic explanations. Blue was very kind when I asked for help last time, but I don't want to bother them too much...
Eh, I'll see about it I guess. In the meantime, it's almost my fiance's birthday, so if you see this around the end of January, please leave him a happy birthday wish in the CBox!
Archive, 2023
29, November 2023
The holiday was busy but in a spending time with my favorite person kind of way, which is to say it was lovely. I didn't find time to do much tinkering or webmastering, but that's alright. Again, the holidays are some of the busiest times for me, and it will continue to get busy until probably mid January? Somewhere around there. I'm going to try and do blog posts, tho, because it's nice to have a place to write things.
Listened to a Sonic x Vaporwave mix on youtube today. The vibes were immaculate, wonder if I could make a page around it. Lot of ideas and very little time (or brainpower) to implement them lol. Case in point, I created a new discord server for chat RP, you can give it a look here if you like! I've said it before and I'll say it again: Seasonal Affective Disorder got me starting projects left and right trying to eke up spare serotonin and dopamine...
21, November 2023
Added a Gallery page for some of what I deem my best pieces of art this year, it is now linked in the Nav bar, and I unlinked my tumblr Art blog (since I can just link out to it on the gallery page). It's really rough so far, and I'm not sure about the colors yet, or the background. I just wanted to get another page up before I completely forgot that I wanted to do that.
Anyways, check out the Gallery page for the update to the WIP in my previous entry, I think I got it down pretty well!
Still thinking about potentially making a blog-type page for entries like this sans the webmaster updates. Dunno yet, we'll see!
16, November 2023
Slowed down a lot because the holidays are coming up and I've been doing a lot at work. Brain doesn't want to wrap itself around code for a bit. That's okay, though, I've been drawing for an art challenge and spending a lot of time with my fiance.
I don't have a page set up for art (yet), so here's the WIP. If you're a fan of Endrance then you know what this is lol
Note to self:set up a page for my best art? I already have an art blog on tumblr, but feels kinda nice to have my own space and layout for that sort of thing.
11, November 2023
Took a few days to chill because the rain and cold made my body way too achy to sit and figure out code. Feeling much better today and might make some pizza from scratch for dinner.
As far as updates today, I finished my About page and added it to the nav links up top. Decided to stay with the .hack theme for it, changing the colors from purple to orange. It will be so cool to have a whole rainbow of pages soon. I've still got some work I want to do on the first shrine, but I think I'll make a silly like chain of pages out of them, a promenade of shrines to all the things I love and cherish.
Special thanks to Velvet Blue for assisting me with code, I'm going to attempt to use it on my first shrine, so we'll see how well that goes! You can find Blue's link in my sidebar, go check out their site!
Update:The script Blue helped me with works like a charm! Check out the Shrine and click on the Gossip Stone!
8, November 2023
Low energy today. Chronic pain flair up. Added some additional images to the shrine page. Had wanted to add an About page and research some silly gimmicks to add, but it's been hard to concentrate so I've just been browsing other neocities sites. Think I also want to find a different music player because SCM isn't working for me at least. And I might look for a guestbox to add and remove the Cbox.
I think I might also like to join a webring, but all that is stuff form me to do at a later date. I'm going back to surfing through sites for now. Might add page buttons from cool ones I've found later.
7, November 2023
Reddit came through on helping me get Macha to 'float'! Thank you so much u/zeldaau for assisting me with the code! She looks so lovely hovering on that side of the screen :D
I discovered today that my job will let me take HTML, CSS, and Javascript classes for free, so I'm definitely going to take advantage of that and see if it helps. Really it's not like it's time wasted, since they require me to do 4-5 hours of learning in tech per year. I've technically already completed that, but as soon as 1st January rolls around I'll be adding them to my course plan!
Alrighty, time to work on a second page to link. Stay tuned!
Update: I've discovered that the floating Macha makes the mobile experience quite unfriendly :( too tired to fiddle with that. Also, added Shrine to the nav links up top!
6, November 2023
Day two of tinkering with website layout stuff. I think I'm pretty solidly an Endrance dothack fan page now? The vibe is purple bitch and I love it, plus it's given me an excuse to dive headfirst into another rabbit hole of one of my favorite things ever.
I'm also collecting blinkies, the whole thing is hugely dopamine-generating for me. Ah, and I added links to my personal and art tumblr blogs, as well as to my fanfiction! Next I think I'd like to try my hand at building a page from scratch. I'll make sure it's in the nav links when that's ready. Also, if this works there should be a floating Macha on this page now too!
Update: The floating Macha image is not working out lmao. Back to the drawing board.
Update Two: I asked Reddit and I'm still pretty stumped TnT for now, Macha will rest just above the footer until I can figure it out or get someone to peek at the code
5, November 2023
I don't quite know what I want this to be yet, but I think it will be a good project for me. Perhaps I can just decorate it with the things I wish smol Hooky could have done. Or maybe I will use it sort of like a way to link all my socials and projects, I have a lot of them. Whatever the case, thank you for stopping by during whatever phase this is in!
So far it is quite frustrating... (>~>);